I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss

No, but seriosuly. Dating in the 21st Century is damn hard.

A Much Longer Book Survey (Or How This Is All I Ever Post)

Yes, this is how I roll. I disappear and re-appear and then only post book surveys. 
And there have been times I've thought about updating this here blog- only to prefer sleepy time to writing time. Or Netflix time. Or just wasting-away time. 
Shame on me, I know. 

Regardless, here I go. Taken from Alley (aka Red) from What Red Read

1. Favorite childhood book:
The Grouchy Ladybug by Eric Carle
This was my favourite mostly because I thought it was funny and my parents always called me grouchy (I was a little bratty at times, but nothing too crazy)

2. What are you reading right now?
Oy vey. It feels like I've been reading Peyton Place for the longest time; I have actually really been enjoying it, though. I may look into the series/film when I am done with it.
I have also been reading a book for school (acting related)- it's been pretty darn insightful.

3. What books do you have on request at the library?

Where I am, libraries are few. And far from where I am. :(

4. Bad book habit: 
Buying them and piling them up at home. I do eventually read them, but the rate I buy them at doesn't compare.
I also tend to read too fast and miss out on action/information in a story.

5. What do you currently have checked out at the library?

Nada.

6. Do you have an e-reader?
Yep. I love a book, physically holding one. But an e-reader really is handy!
I've got both a Nook (1st Edition) and a Kindle Paperwhite. 

7. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?
I used to be a "One book at a time" kind of person. Now I read up to 3; they all must be different genres though. Otherwise I can't handle it.

8. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?
No. It has changed since I graduated from Uni (for the worse, I'm afraid to say).

9. Least favorite book you read this year:
None. I've enjoyed all I've read so far.

10. Favorite book you’ve read this year:
Life of Pi. People raved about it for good reason and glad I finally got to it.

11. How often do you read outside of your comfort zone?
I break out of it every now and then! Mostly with non-fiction (I know, I know...)

12. What is your reading comfort zone?
Fiction, especially classics. I need to keep my contemporary game up. 

13. Can you read on the bus?
Yep! As long as I'm not driving (even then, I wish I could read while driving)

14. Favorite place to read:
Anywhere I can get into a comfortable position.

15. What is your policy on book lending?
Ay, ay, ay. I've had bad experiences (I still mourn the loss of my "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" copy...) so I don't do it. 
There's only one person I lend books to. 

16. Do you dog-ear your books?
 Yes. *cringes* I know and I'm sorry.
I try not to, though. It's just, when there's a really good/lovely/thought provoking passage, I can't help it. 

17. Do you write notes on the margins of your books?
No. I did once or twice when I was in college and whenever I pick up those books I want to scream, "WHY?! WHY?!"
I learned my lesson well.

18. Do you break/crack the spines?
Not intentionally.

19. What is your favorite language to read?
If I can read it in it's original language, then that's my favourite language to read. I can do Spanish, Portuguese and French.
But for those I can't: English.

20. What makes you love a book?
The characters. The story/plot. The writing!

21. What will inspire you to recommend a book?

The aforementioned; if done well.

22. Favorite genre:
Fiction. All kind. 

23. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did):
Non-fiction/history kind of stuff...

24. Favorite biography:

Primo Levy's "If This is a Man" and Gene Wilder's "Kiss me Like a Stranger"

25. Have you read a self-help book (and was it helpful)? 
YUP and YUP.
This is also a recent thing. Growing up and battling with depression have led me to these books. 

26. Favorite cook book:
Nigella Kitchen by Nigella Lawson
The Kind Diet by Alicia Silverstone

27. The most inspirational book you’ve read this year:
Viktor Frankl's Man's search for Meaning and The 7 Spiritual Laws for Success by Deepak Chopra
Also Life of Pi by Yann Martel because well, that's what great storytelling is all about. And I want to whip of great stories one day too.

28. Favorite reading snack:
A nice big hot cup of tea and cookies or a fruit or some nuts or crackers

29. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience:
The Da Vinci Code. Hype or no hype though, I still would've hated the book. Awful, awful. 

30. How often do you agree with the critics about a book?
Eh. About 50/50

31. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?
If I do it's because it really is awful. I'm too nice to give straight up negative reviews.

32. If you could read in a foreign language, which would it be?
One that I don't already? Japanese, hands down.

33. Most intimidating book I’ve ever read:
Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts
But definitely worth it

34. Most intimidating book I’m too nervous to begin:
The Bible?

35. Favorite Poet:
Sylvia Plath, William Carlos Williams, Pablo Neruda, William Blake

36. How many books do you generally have checked out of the library at a given time?
Zilch.

37. How often do you return books to the library unread?
I'll ignore this one.

38. Favorite fictional character:
At the top of my head: Sirius Black, Atticus Finch, Mr. Darcy, Matilda.

39. Favorite fictional villain:
Iago from Othello

40. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation:
Light reads. This summer I read A Streetcat Named Bob and it was a perfect beach companion.

41. The longest I’ve gone without reading:
Hmmm. A month?

42. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?
Internet and technology.
And if people speak to me directly (I can read while people are talking, as long as they're not talking to me)

43. Name a book you could not finish:

The DaVinci Code. When We Were Bad (Charlotte Mendelson).

44. Favorite film adaption of a novel:
Hmmm. Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (David L. Wolper version), The Lord of the Rings, Pride & Prejudice (miniseries & Keira Knightley one)

45. The most disappointing film adaptation:
Emma... Charlie & the Chocolate Factory.
Life of Pi was great visually (and Ang Lee is phenomenal as was the cast) but that is the problem about a story of a stranded narrator in open sea. 

46. Most money I’ve ever spent in a bookstore at one time:
Eeeh. Perhaps $60 to 70.

47. How often do you skim a book before reading it?
I'll read the first page or so and that's it.

48. What would cause you to stop reading a book halfway through it?

If I really haven't been enjoying it or if I didn't pick it up in a long time (only to restart it again).

49. Do you like to keep your books organized?
Somewhat. I have various shelves that are independently organised.

50. Do you prefer to keep your books when done, or give them away?
I've only ever given a couple of books away and it was very difficult for me; that being said, they were for special people. It is not something I do regularly- I get attached to them- but it also isn't something I'm against.

51. Are there any books that you’ve been avoiding?


52. Name a book that made you angry:

Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix. I started reading it and putting it down about 5 times before I actually got through with it. I couldn't stand Professor Umbridge and how angsty and teenager-y Harry, Ron & Hermione were.

53. A book I didn’t expect to like but did:

Devil in the White City by Erik Larson

54. A book I expected to like but didn’t:
The DaVinci Code- I can't get over it, I'm sorry.

55. Favorite guilt-free guilty-pleasure reading:
YA novels. They're fun, alright?

Museums are the shit (if I do say so myself)

If I do say so myself, If I do say so myself. 

They have also been my soul playground these past two months. 

                   

                                                          ^ mmmhhhmmmm

July and August have been a reconciliation with creativity. I don't ever recall going to so many art museums to creativitate: to cultivate my creativity.

My creative garden was starting to rot- I wasn't taking very good care of it. Life distracted me from it and it began to wither away, a cold harsh winter ravaging it. The garden has always been there; it used to be a Versailles. Now? It's rusty. Unattended, weed infested. 

I'm Mary Lennox has rediscovered her own secret garden; scary at first and somewhat overwhelming. But square by square I can still find some flowers, seeds budding and the birds have come back to sing. The garden is blossoming again.

What I'm saying is: I'm curing my head space once again.

Visiting these museums has been refreshing and oh so necessary. They remind me that it's okay. That it's good to make art. Or that it's good to make, period. 

And now my moleskine has been filling up with museum stickers! 

The outside are mostly all brazilian- the insides have some from Japan, Thailand and the US.

Also a little sketch I made (Gram and Cramps).

i wish I'd drawn that bottom right one- it's from this book below:

1 Page at a Time - go visit and follow him on tumblr *

I bought this book - which is due out in the US on October (the perks of being bilingual *wink wink*) and already  I know it will be a great companion on this renewing journey.  

My birthday's a couple of days away... This new year is already starting to take form. 

Back to museums...

The last one I went to was MAC USP - located in front/next to Ibirapuera Park. Henrique Oliveira's exhibition is phenomenal. I had fun walking in it and taking pictures (will post those up later).

That- however- doesn't stop me from taking and sharing selfies-the light was just right for what I had in mind. 

                                                 This is just the beginning.

                                                                   :)

* http://jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk.com/

Bookish Meme

1. What author do you own the most books by?

I want to say Jane Austen, but I think Stephen King.

2. What book do you own the most copies of?

The Little Prince in different languages and versions.

3. What fictional character are you secretly in love with?

Mr. Darcy, duh. And Atticus Finch.

4. What book have you read the most times in your life (excluding picture books read to children, i.e. Goodnight Moon does not count)?

The Little Prince, Lolita and The Bell Jar.

5. What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?

Probably any Babysitter's Club book. 

6. What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year?

The Five People you meet in Heaven. The premise of the story is great but besides that... 

7. If you could force everyone to read one book, what would it be?

Take a wild guess... Yep, The Little Prince. 

8. Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?

Margaret Atwood

9. What book would you most like to see made into a movie? 

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman

10. What book would you least like to see made into a movie?

Shantaram by David Gregory Roberts unless it were made into a miniseries and even then... The book is worth reading and living.

11. Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.

I can't read thrillers, mystery, horror or suspense before going to bed. I can't help having nightmares (and not being able to fall asleep). When I read McCarthy's The Road all my dreams were ashen and grey and about survival with a random occasional zombie.

I once started to read Hogan and Del Toro's The Strain, but that wasn't going too well either. 

12. What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?

I guess YA Literature? But why does lowbrow have to be a negative thing- I mean, I get that negative tone in this question (or is it just me?)

13. What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?

Virginia Woolf is not an easy feat for me- the modernists in general. James Joyce's Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, granted I was 13 when I picked that up...

14. What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?

I don't think I've seen an obscure Shakespeare play. I've read them but not seen them.

15. Do you prefer the French or the Russians?

I am more familiar with the French (and biaes because I love everything that is French). I will have to delve deeper into the Russians. 

16. What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?

Contemporary and mostly anything that is not Latin American and from the English language. Oh, and non-fiction...

17. What is your favorite novel?

Ay, ay, ay! To Kill a Mockingbird, Little Women and/or Lolita.

18. Work of nonfiction?

See 16. Though I enjoyed The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson.

19. Who is the most overrated writer alive today?

Dan Brown.

20. What is your desert island book?

All of Harry Potter

About these ads

                     "But all I could think about was him... Was he thinking about me?" 

                                    

Birthday Wishlist

We're an exact month away from yours truly's birthday. My, how time does fly! 

My mom has been bed ridden this whole week (she has some back problems) so, to get my mind off cooking and cleaning I decided to window shop online for a couple of items I have been lusting over.

*clears throat*

High waisted denim

Zara / Zara / H&M

Black Booties

H&M

Maxi Skirt

Zara

Black Pumps

Zara

Tops

Zara / H&M

Tote

Longchamp

I have a red one that's starting to look a little battered. I still use and love it though. 

Casual Sneaks

New Balance

Knits

Zara / H&M

Sunglasses

Ray Ban

The Birks

( that's what I'm calling them)

Birkenstock

LBD (Long Black Dress)

H&M

Sport Essentials

The bottoms, trousers that is

H&M / H&M

Etc...

Ultraviolence CD 

Twin Peaks DVDs

Avedon Fashion: 1944-2000 Photo Book

All this to help you pick the right gift. I'm not picky ;)

I kid, I kid. It's funny; just by compiling them all together in picture form on my blog, I feel I already own them. 

That's a little sad, isn't it?

But I guess that's how indulgences work sometimes.

With the month of August still ahead, I have yet to make the best of my remaining days as a 26 year old. Blurgh!

Happy August!

Here is some Louise Hay wisdom- a month affirmation. 

He's Just Not That Into Me

Allow me to wallow in my pity and tell you my sad tale.

It's a story of girl meets boy, they get along, they go out, they become friends, one "secretly" falls for the other, the 'courting' continues and BAM!

One stays single, while the other- not so anymore.

Also, single one finds out via Facebook. 

Disapponted? Yes. Sad? Yes. Ego a little hurt? Yes.

There's not much for me to do but to write about it now, if anything just to really get it out of my system. Write and think- to try and analyse where it is that I'm going wrong. I mean, I am who I am at the core of things and I don't believe in changing yourself for someone (especially if it's only to please).

But why is it that I feel I push away these suitors? Or am I driving them away?

Let me begin by saying I've always considered myself a cynic. 

Now I'm teeter-tottering between cynic and romantic. You guys, it isn't an easy feat. Especially when you meet the nice and rare kind. Part of me plays hard to get and falls onto serious mode, while the other is dying from too many feels and wanting to live all she has read and seen (hot and steamy sex scenes included, because, c'mon...).

Sense of humour, some basic similar interests, loving, caring, smart.

Oh, and bilingual.

Am I being too picky?

I feel like a mixture between the female version of Raj (from The Big Bang Theory) and Jess (from New Girl). I get nervous around guys, especially if I feel they show interest. And I'm either really quiet or really weird. Or both. 

I have no problem with that, only, my head will start telling itself that I'm awkward, that the whole situation is awkward and make it all a little messy.

This is life though.

Learning to love yourself and others. Giving unconditionally. Making mistakes, taking risks, getting hurt, serendipity, and being ready.

Well, I don't think I've ever been more ready.

http://youtu.be/Vf4yJSOnh7k

There. It has been written. And life does go on.

Because I honestly believe, when something is meant to be, it will be.

In the meantime, I've got a wonderful bunch of friends and some self-loving to do.

Plus, I've got this little buddy to keep me company! 

"You are worth the adoration. You're worth it. And the fact that you don't believe it has nothing to do with whether it's true or not." - happythankyoumoreplease

"Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard."

THIS.

It's been a month or so since I signed up to receive Notes from The Universe* and they never fail to make me stop and think what it is I truly want. Most importantly, what I want is attainable and worth it.

So, work hard it is. 

I might fail today and tomorrow and next week, but I will eventually get to where I want to be.

Let this be a reminder to you all that dreams can become a reality.

:)

*Because if the universe can't motivate you, I don't know what can.
  -> http://www.tut.com/ <- p="">

The Monday Blues

I'm still in a slump or lull that I can't shake off.

I have no desire to go to school...

And now that I'm no longer on my period (tmi?) I feel like eating healthy again, so, that's a plus.

Puppies and BFFs are the best remedy for the Monday Blues.

Laura's  ( The Blue Eyed Night Owl ) latest post has inspired me to do the same and post up some of my June goals.

+ Finish reading Peyton Place and read a Dashiell Hammett novel.

+ Write more blog posts

+ Get creative in the kitchen

+ Set goals and work toward them

+ Start apartment hunting

I leave to Brazil in a month and a bit, which I'm also really excited about.

I could use a change of scenery. 

It Ain't Easy Being Green

Or an Actor. It's tough.

I remember watching a play next to my dad and him asking, "So, where's the prompter?"
I scoffed, feeling outraged, and said, "You learn the lines. There's no one there telling them what to say..."

He was surprised. He really had no idea! I wondered how many people thought the same or had the same misconceptions of acting.

People forget all the hard work behind it is made to look easy.

Like ballet. 

It takes practice. It takes courage. It takes many mistakes.

And it never ends, as with every art.

It's an on-going process.

As of last year I have had doubts about my being an actor. Not because I don't deem it a respectable profession or am worried about financial stability- rather... I don't know if I believe in myself in that respect. Yes, I have confidence issues, but it goes beyond that now.

One thing is certain: The Arts are my life.
I want to create. I want to work with artists. I want to surround myself with creative-ness. With creatives.

I just don't know if this is the path for me. At least, on stage.

What was once a passion of mine is now becoming a hobby. I know I'm pretty good at some things, but it just doesn't seem to do it for me anymore. I found myself thinking, "When I finish this course, I can get to doing what I really want."

But what is that what?

I haven't given myself the time or chance to write- I've been putting it off because I'm afraid of the usual. 

Afraid it won't be good. Afraid it won't work.

But it's the only thing I think about, so it has to mean something, right?

Maybe I just need to put acting in a drawer for a bit while I discover all other aspects of creating.

Or maybe not. Maybe I will discover what I really want to do.

One thing is for sure- acting has been the springboard for allowing myself to be creative, to take chances, to getting to know myself better. 

I've tried on the shoe- and it is the shoe I want, but I just don't think it's the right size.
I need to move on up.

This is an artist, who has no fucking clue what to do or is doing or is going to do in the future.

It's 12pm and I'm still in PJs, sitting in front of the computer with the puppy on my lap, contemplating life and decisions.

Just another regular Wednesday.

What I do need to do?

Get off my ass and DO.
Build.

Create. 

You are what life is (or life is what you are)

                                      

                                                            Let's not forget this.

Like a Mixed Bag of Nuts

I guess Forrest Gump said is best: Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

I've been feeling a lot of everything lately and I don't know what to make of it. 

Today's weather isn't helping as the sky is grey and gloomy and the rain is inconsistent. 

What does one do on days like today?

Not go to school.

Spruce up the blog- which I'm not too certain about...

Drink tea. Lots and lots of tea. 

Cry a little.

Hover around the HappyLite

Plan.

Write, write, write.

I had a falling out with a cousin recently, which was the first event that got me down.

Then, a guy I really like and was (sort of) seeing said he only wanted to be friends.

Then, I got my period which pretty much screws everything up in my life- at least mood-wise. 

I fail to see the big picture and instead mope around, mourning the futility of life.

As most women do on these days. Or is it just me?

Babysitting my nephew and puppy (read on) only stressed me out more, making me feel incompetent and grouchy.

I fear not though. I know this is all temporary and I always get by it.

A lesson is learned with every experience, too, that's definitely true. 

So, here are some happy things!

I got a puppy. His name is Pepino*.

He is a Pomeranian and Yorkie mix.

He is the funniest/ cutest being in my life right now. 

Any puppy training advice/tips are greatly appreciated!

I'll be heading down to Brazil soon and hope to visit my best friend in Argentina while I'm at it.

Despite my morose disposition on display here, I am quite content with myself in many areas of my life. I feel like I am finally making strides forward to a clearer and happier future/me.

I have a whole lot of books piled up, waiting to be read and snuggled with.

I have an amazing group of friends. 

So, if you're just having one of those days, do what I do and just tell yourself:

I  CAN

* Pepino is cucumber in spanish. He's got a lot of nicknames, cuke being one of them. 

What does one do with a case of writer's block, laziness and procrastination?

Or, more to the point, what do you do with a BA in English?

Peanut butter sammie in hand and a cuppa tea in sight, I sit in front of the computer and stare into the void (i.e. screen). This is a habit I'm trying to break; waiting for inspiration, I mean. 

Ideas I have many, it's just that I don't sit down and write. 

The inner-voice-judge stops me every single time, without even giving myself a chance.

So I think it's high time I picked up The Artist's Way again- seriously- and give it a go.

For the most part

I do well, for the most part.
And I do have really good days.

So when my mind gets back to picking on me and starts being very loud, I forget who I am. What I want. Why I live.

Recovery

This is what I looked like today.

93% 

Almost fully healthy - thank goodness!
Being bed-ridden was starting to drive me crazy. 

I did pick up my ukulele though, after... 2 years? 1 year? It had been a long time.
I remember finger placements but not what chords they are. 

I'm almost done reading The Book Thief and I feel the tears coming.

I feel like I'm finally getting back on track, life-wise. Me-wise.

It feels good.

:)

Family

Today the word "family" sort of sank into me.

I love my family- the one I am connected to by blood. My mother, my father, my brother and my sister.
But I realised I've also been blessed with extended family. An intricate family that has been networked and branched out through all these years.

I stopped by my yoga place today to say hi, since I've been bed ridden and away for a bit, and was taken aback by my reaction to seeing those friendly and familiar faces again after what felt like forever. Even just going up and ringing the door bell.
I never realised how welcome I feel there. How present and free I can be.

After talking to my teacher (who I say is my guru, because is Amazing) and the lady at the front desk (one of the nicest people I've ever met) for a bit, I was saying goodbye and ready to leave when the latter said, "You're part of the family here. Don't worry."

I feel I like people more than they like me, so having someone (who is not necessarily a very close friend) say that to me... Really touched me, to say the least.
Family.

Just then I realised how lucky I am to be part of another family and others with my very close friends.
And these families, however small they may be, will always be there.

It's where you belong.